Beans

So, about over a week ago I decided that some things needed to change around here.  I felt like I wasn't getting the help that I knew my girls were capable of giving me and also like I was putting my kids in time out more than I (or my kids) wanted.  Time outs just weren't working because my girls kept doing the same things.  Don't get me wrong...my kids are great.  They are happy and productive.  I am just always looking for ways to improve my family and our situation especially since Tom is away for weeks at a time for work.  So, I was reading some things about parenting and it went into the disciplining technique of positive reinforcement.  I always felt like I tried to do this but as I read further I realized that I needed to improve on this.  So, I tried to think of ways to help both the girls and myself be more positive.  I knew I was on default mode of whenever things went awry or something negative happened then I would immediately put the offender in time out.  I wanted to start focusing on what they were doing right instead of wrong.  I know it works in coaching so why not parenting?  This is where beans come into play.  I sat the girls down and told them that for every time they do something helpful, kind, or good then they get to put a bean in their cups.  I let each girl pick their own cup then I put their name on it.  Then we went to the store and picked out some treats to trade in for the beans each day.  We cashed in our beans right after naps.  So, the adventure began.  It started off where I would have to prompt them to be helpful or ways to earn beans but in one short week they haven't seen the time out chair for probably 4 days and are looking for ways to help me.  They don't even expect a bean in return.  It is amazing to see their transformation.  They are happier and so helpful to me.  In return, I am looking for ways to praise them.  It is a win win for all.  Since I feel like I am not having to break up contention as much I find that I have more time to do more.  Beans...give it a try...you won't regret it.