Monday, May 3, 2010
Thoughts...
I don't know where to begin. I am not writing this for you to feel bad for us, but rather, to reflect on what I have learned. I guess I will just say it...I posted about 5 months ago that Brooklyn's birthmom was pregnant again and that she was having a girl. She told us she was going to place the baby with us. We went to Dr. appointments, painted the baby's room, etc. etc. I was so excited! Well, she kept her baby and I totally understand why...a mother's love is strong. We still love her and feel so much gratitude towards her for giving us Brooklyn to raise, but it still doesn't make it any easier. It honestly feels like someone died. Tom and I really struggled the first week after the baby was born. We had constant pits in our stomachs and we weren't sleeping very well. It was miserable. Then we decided we would fast, pray, go to the temple, and get a blessing for comfort. It worked. Of course it worked. There was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel so blessed to have the love of my Savior in my life. I also feel blessed to have great people in my life. Through this tough time I've really learned who I can count on and who truly cares. I feel blessed to come from a family who is supportive and lets me know they are thinking of me and that they care. We still have tough times throughout the day, but we know that there is always a reason why things happen. I recall back to when we got Brooklyn. We prayed to have a baby for almost 3 years. Then we were inspired to put our papers in for adoption. Within days from Brooklyn being born, we found out we were pregnant! We have had problems getting pregnant again this time and after many visits to the doctor we know that Brooklyn and Kenzie both are little miracles. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts. I've learned that things happen in the Lord's time, not mine. I look back at some of life's experiences and I know they wouldn't have happened without a little patience on my part. So, here I am. I want another baby so badly, but I also feel so blessed to have our two little miracles. Things happen for a reason. Tom and I are optimistic. We feel at peace that everything will be ok and that we will be taken care of. We know there is another little girl out there and hopefully a little boy too! Don't worry about us...we will be fine.
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we were so sorry to hear about the baby...and we hope you can hold onto the peace you've found. Love you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. You have been such an example of strength and faith over the past few weeks. You are amazing! I'm glad you have been able to feel peace and comfort. No doubt the answer to many prayers offered.
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to me, Michelle. I can only imagine what a tough time this has been and the let-down you must feel. Recognizing that we need to learn something from these experiences is not always easy, but you seem to be in the right place with it.
ReplyDeleteI am confident that in the Lord's due time you will be blessed with another. Until then, you are such a fabulous mommy! I feel bad that the baby will miss out on what she could have had with you, Tom and the girls.
Sorry to hear about that...I am sure it doesn't make things easy for you. I am always told that I will recieve blessings upon blessings for who I am, and I know for sure you and Tom both recieve many blessings and miracles. Keep your chin up, there is another baby out there waiting to have you as parents!
ReplyDeleteThey may be little hooligans at times, but Brooklyn and Kenzie really are little miracles, and my little buddies. Thanks for letting me be so close to them and have such a great relationship with you guys. I really admire you Michelle and your generous heart and forgiving spirit. You are a great example to me.
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that there is a reason for everything. We may not know what it is right now, but maybe down the road we will. What a blessing it is that Brooklyn and Kenzie are both so close in age and have each other. I have been amazed at how well you have been doing considering the circumstances. I guess I haven't been around for your tough moments, but you seem so strong. love you!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read blogs for a long time but I just read this post and I wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you. Keep trusting in the Lord.
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